(To Listen to this talk go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIoGCiVgFWg&feature=youtu.be)
Hello my name is Katie Logan, current parishioner here at Holy Apostles and I was invited today to share about the vocation in which Jesus has called me. I was recently accepted into the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity out of Wisconsin to enter formation to become a Religious Sister. I am really excited to share this with all of you today, my Holy Apostles family!
As I prepared this talk there was one quote from Pope Benedict the 16th that spoke to my heart, which is “The love of God sometimes follows paths one could never have imagined, but it always reaches those who are willing to be found.” This call from God was one which seemingly came as a surprise but through this discernment journey over this past year and a half I know that this seed was planted within my heart long before I could have understood what I know now.
I grew up Presbyterian but God called me home to the Catholic faith when I was accepted to a Catholic college, Neumann, a Franciscan school. I sometimes think how my Guardian Angel definitely deserves an early retirement with the crazy road he has traveled with me. In my late teens, barely graduating high school, incidents caused me to question how there could be a loving God if He allowed pain and suffering to happen directly to me, because of those thoughts, I pushed Him out of my life. But as I look to who I am standing before you today I can truly say I am thankful for the trials, the suffering, because each of those experiences combined with joys, shaped & strengthened me as a child of God, the Catholic woman I am today.
So how did I end up at Neumann, a Catholic college and convert? God sent me an angel working through a complete stranger who after a “chance” meeting convinced me that I was made for more in this life even if I could not believe and did not understand. He shared to get where I needed to be I would have to use ice hockey to step into college and my heart said to listen. I contacted a few colleges and Neumann accepted me. I played ice hockey my freshman year and then I was sidelined due to an injury. My coach asked me to set up service opportunities for the team so I stepped through the door of campus ministry and my life was forever changed. During my Senior year at Neumann I went through RCIA and during the Easter Vigil, with the confirmation name of Francis, I was accepted into the Catholic Church. If I were to sum up what Neumann did for me I would say: I was guided there when I was lost, I discovered trust and love through people placed in my life, I found hope, I found God through service and others and opened my heart to receive, I was changed. But at that time I could never have imagined what God had planned for me.
In the Gospel of John 15:16 we hear “It was not you who chose me, says the Lord, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last.” As I reflect on my journey I like to think of how God has been working on me in stages of my life, through challenging and stretching me, so that I would be prepared to say “Yes” and give my whole life, when He called. If God had revealed His whole plan to me at once I would not have been ready.
I have discovered that just as an athlete looks for those who are more skilled to practice with or compete against in order to improve your own level of competition that as I discerned I looked to those who were spiritual mentors in whom I could turn to with my questions, and thoughts. I am ever grateful for the spiritual guidance I have received here at Holy Apostles from Fr. Jim, Fr. Lawrence, Fr. Erin, as well as many other amazing Priests in our Diocese and others.
I also came to understand the importance of community and building those relationships in our lives with others that can hold us accountable, be honest with us, and be there to just listen or pray. It’s amazing how God has used Holy Apostles, as this nurturing environment for me to give as well as to receive as He has been preparing me. Of course God also needed me to trust and be myself as I stepped through the door of this parish. Through the Welcome retreat here and Welcome formation, God started to transform my relationship with Him from one based in service to one of deep prayer. Then God continued to work with me and through me as I accepted the invitation to put Him first in my life and discern. As I have participated in many of the wonderful ministries in our parish home, God sent so many amazing people into my life in order to awaken who He has called me to be. It was during Adoration here at Holy Apostles that Jesus spoke to me and placed the thought in my mind and heart to be a Religious Sister. God has given me a home of support and love at this parish. I am ever grateful.
What will I be doing when I enter the Franciscan Order? God has gifted me with the ability to communicate with people of all ages and has opened my heart with a desire to serve with the hope that no one should feel unloved or unworthy. From service and volunteering over the years, to the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, God has laid a foundation of experience within me. When I enter the Order in Wisconsin as a Postulant I will continue to discern my call through formal instruction, community prayer, and service in charity. Through exploration of ministry opportunities a potential focus will open as a way to be a “laborer in the vineyard” as Jesus uncovers His mission for me.
As God continues to chip away the rough edges and work with all of my quirks and imperfections, while molding and transforming me, I am hoping that all of you, my Holy Apostles family, will journey with me on this mission from God in prayer. A religious sister has years of formation and to know I have brothers and sisters in Christ praying for me will be life giving. Also please let me know if there are ways that I can pray for you! As I continue to follow God’s will, my next step before I can officially enter is to get my temporal affairs in order with the top priority of paying off my Catholic education student loans which are quite substantial and I need help. If you are interested in ways that you can support so I can officially enter or have questions on discerning a vocation I will be available after Mass today in the Narthex (with coffee & donuts). You can also find out how to journey with me through my online blog. Bring your questions or please stop to simply say Hello!
I would also like to take a moment to encourage all of the girls/boys and woman/men out there who may feel a stirring in the heart, of a call to Religious Life or the Ordained Life. Like the Angel Gabriel said to Mary, Do Not Be Afraid! It is said that God is the one that places the thought of the vocation of religious life or ordained life into those that are called. It is then up to you to stop and pay attention to what God is asking. Maybe the call is expected and you are filled with joy or maybe it is unexpected and confusing to understand. I urge you to not push it away but bring the call to Adoration, to daily Mass. Ask Jesus what He is trying to tell you and pay attention to how He is trying to speak to you through prayer, events, and people in your life. There is a reason that Jesus is reaching out to your heart. He wants you to take the step to walk with Him to understand your true identity that has always been yours but that He is bringing to light. God wants us to let go of fears of being unworthy, of feeling unqualified and to allow the Word of God to take root in our hearts, and to purify us. There is no date/time to achieve any goal by but it is with patience, exploration, and communication with God and others that all will be revealed.
I will admit from my own discernment that it can be challenging to know where to start. Speak to Fr. Jim or Fr. Lawrence or any Priest or Sister you may know. Check out the Vocation page on our ColSp Diocese website which will soon be updated and will provide more information, media, and resources to help you begin your journey. For now I would even offer for you to speak to me. I would love to have a conversation, to listen, and to share as a fellow discerner about the vocational call from God. We are all connected through Christ and today I want to thank all of you for being a part of my vocation journey. Again, thank you & God Bless!
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