I would like to share as of today, Feb 15th, through the prayers and financial support received that I have raised 20% of my goal! I am so thankful for the generosity and I know that Jesus is walking with me and with all of those individuals and families joining in this journey to help me as we push forward to raise the remaining 80%. My hope is through word of mouth, fundraising events, talks, networking, and social media to raise that remaining 80% so I can enter the convent this August to begin my formation with the Franciscan Sisters.
How interesting it is to walk with Jesus and so many in this vocation fundraiser campaign to pay off the educational debt. And why is my story different then so many others? In prayer I received that answer. I am paying off the education loans so then in turn I can then be free to give everything away. To take that step to enter more deeply into that commitment of life to love of God and neighbor and those in need with the giving of my whole life by entering into the environment that disposes me to do so. As I say yes to enter the convent for the beginning of formation, I am saying yes to be shaped and formed to live out the love and mercy in this committed life as a Religious, God willing.
We read in Walking in Holiness that “Each one of us has been uniquely fashioned by God’s grace to witness His love in the world. Our job is to respond to that call, to put ourselves in God’s hands, to allow ourselves to trust in the Spirits power so that we will be fully equipped to be agents of Gods mercy and love wherever we go, and with everyone we meet.”
As I reflect on the last few months of my journey since my acceptance into the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity that passage strikes me deeply. God unexpectedly called me to respond to His ask of discerning the Religious Life vocation and I said yes. How exciting it was to connect with the Charism of the FSCC. To have the understanding after acceptance, that this is where Jesus is calling me to discern through community, prayer, and service to fully understand this vocational call as I look to enter into formation with the Sisters.
I will admit that it is a challenge to know that you are accepted and then to have a roadblock in front of you. To know that Jesus and this community has said yes to seeing something in me through this call yet to not be able to take the full step forward. This process is one that has opened me up to a world of vulnerability like I have never known before but in this I have found beauty and fruitfulness.
It has also been a time where I have discovered the cross of choosing Christ first in my life. I truly believe that through the challenging and positive words and actions of others that Jesus has been transforming my heart and mind and giving me strength. And how truly amazing God is with the people He places in your life to be an extra support. I have come to understand that not everyone comprehends the choice to follow the call to religious life but I hope to share in my witness why others who may be called should not be afraid to say yes. I hope in this time, that will only come once, that I don’t rush through the beauty of what is, by looking to far ahead of what will be. A friend reminded me that “Jesus is in the now” and this is where I need to be.
When at prayer there are times when I feel an ache in my heart, a longing to leave it all behind to follow where He is calling me but I know I am not able to go yet. There is a pull on the heart that is hard to describe but it is real. This is the driving force, the spark igniting the fire of God’s love inside, to push me out of my comfort zone in order to fulfill His plan for me. My adoration hour partner shared with me that sometimes we have to lovingly fight and persevere for what Jesus asks of us. And I know that this is what He is asking of me and I am fully committed. I am excited for the continuing opportunities, in the now, to share in this vocation story and the road of discernment.
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